Sherlock Gnomes Review

Sherlock Gnomes is, already, one of the defining classics in children’s entertainment.

Its’ premise is ingenious. Take a Sherlock Holmes story, but make it available to kids by tying it into the already-established world of Gnomeo and Juliet, another film that was carried by its’ incredible concept: Great literature, but told through the unique perspective of a garden gnome. Sherlock Gnomes only furthers the genius of the first film, and turns out to be an even better adventure than the first one was.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Dawson,” you’ll say, “This movie is a garbage movie. What are you doing?” Well, on this website, I state my opinion. And it’s my opinion that Sherlock Gnomes is a classic children’s film. Up there with The Lego Movie, The Lion King, and Toy Story 2. Don’t believe me? Allow me to convince you.

The first reason this movie is so amazing is Elton John. I love Elton John, so when I saw that he produced this movie, I was ecstatic. He put some of his greatest hits in the movie, like “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” “Rocket Man,” and even “The Bitch is Back,” a bold choice in my opinion. He even has a cameo, one that made me laugh out loud in the theater. Speaking of the theater, it was packed, full of children and their parents who were all overjoyed to see the zany adventures of the one and only Sherlock Gnomes play out on the big screen. It was so refreshing to see a Sherlock Holmes story play out in a movie that was so creative and in-touch with the audiences of today.

I was able to relate to this movie because of how in-touch it was. One of the characters has a selfie stick that he uses frequently throughout the film, a couple of the Elton John songs have modern dance beats behind them (increasing the quality by a significant margin, I must add). In addition, this movie makes many pop culture references, a move that made me laugh many times. This movie even has the guts to comment on how soulless corporations are, a move that I greatly admired, especially considering the conditions in which this movie was released.

The acting talent behind this movie is stunning. James McAvoy, Johnny Depp, Emily Blunt, Michael Caine, even Ozzy Osbourne makes an appearance. Everyone wanted to be a part of the cinematic experience of the ages. These actors all add hefts of quality to an already exceptional movie. Their performances made me laugh, they made me cry, they made me feel things. It’s not often that I feel things in a movie, but the actors of Sherlock Gnomes made me feel genuine emotion. I was surprised that I didn’t cry while the domestic plot between Gnomeo and Juliet unfolded.

Speaking of that, this movie has a mature, finely crafted domestic subplot in which Juliet takes Gnomeo for granted, and he feels slighted. It was painful to watch him struggle to reach his lover, but to no avail. It eventually reached a breaking point that made me tear up in the theater (I didn’t cry, though, so please don’t call me a baby). This expertly achieved plotline ties perfectly into a parallel thread with Sherlock and Watson, where Sherlock does the same thing to Watson as Juliet was doing to Gnomeo. It has great significance to the main storyline, and leads to a shocking double reveal that I did not see coming. The brains this movie has are honestly intimidating. It may be a kid’s movie, but don’t underestimate the smarts the five screenwriters brought to the table. It’s amazing how gracefully each screenwriter contributed to the film, I didn’t notice any tonal problems or anything like that when I was watching the film.

Something else I have to comment on is the excellent sound mixing. This movie is mixed perfectly, there are no audio mistakes to be seen here. There’s a doll in the film whose voice actor actually recorded all of her lines separately from the rest of the cast on a different mic, and you really can’t tell at all. Speaking of things they did excellently (aside from the entire movie), they had a musical number. I assume this was done to capitalize on the popularity of films like La La Land and The Greatest Showman, but you can’t tell. It’s completely organic, and flows completely naturally.

This movie is also self-aware. It constantly makes reference to itself, and while it doesn’t comment on the things it’s referencing in the slightest, and that’s OK. All you need to do to be self-aware and smart is to mention some of your faults. That alone is enough, you definitely don’t need to comment on what you’re bringing up or make it a joke. The reference is the joke. That’s really how being self-aware works. Trust me, I am a comedy man.

Something I almost forgot to mention is just how excellent the main mystery plays out. The central mystery is so expertly crafted. I had no idea where the story was going to go, and they had me at every twist and turn. When the first final reveal happened, they shocked me. But when the second occurred, I was floored. It’s truly a mystery beyond words.

Overall, I was surprised by this film. I think it’s a wonderful example of human ingenuity, how to fix relationships, how to protect your garden gnomes from being stolen, how to love, how to laugh, how to live. It can be considered an alternative to therapy, it can sustain your children, it gets rid of tough stains, and on top of that, it’s an excellent mystery. Sherlock Gnomes has nothing wrong with it, and that’s why I’m confident in giving it a…


Up next: Batman v Superman revisit. I know, it seems late to do something like that, but I really feel that the film’s misunderstood. I think it deserves a second chance.





















































Just kidding, it sucks balls. It’s a tasteless abomination that has no business existing. Just take these bits of information and you have my actual review: Reverse everything I said in this entire review, and live with the knowledge that they make a reference to pornography in this terrible children’s film. April Fools.


Up next: Pacific Rim: Uprising.

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